Life's clutter, that is. I am finding that I have over-extended myself on multiple levels. In my attempts to fill my social calendar, I realize that I am filling it with things that don't matter. Things that are draining my joy, things that are making me doubt myself and my parenting abilities, my family size, my happiness. It's time to clean out.
I am starting with social commitments. I am surrounding myself with people that I enjoy, friendships that I really want to cultivate. I am working on friendships for my child with people that I want to be around Samantha, children that I think will be her friends for life, friends that can encourage her and have her do the same for them.
I am also cleaning out Facebook. There are so many folks on there that don't even know me, yet I am sharing details on my life with them. It's time to stop. So, I am working through the daunting task of cleaning my friend list up.
I am cleaning out the house, a bit at a time. I started with the kitchen, and it's coming together. It's nice to be clean and organized :) Plus, I am tired of tripping over myself and our material items.
So...here's to decluttering! Let the fun begin :)
Our journey through life's ups and downs, ins and outs, outbursts of joy and tears of sadness.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
First Corinthians 13 for Moms
I am not normally one to cross-post another blogger's post, but this so resonated with me that I had to share. As I agonize of the mom-petitions, the countless comments that hurt even when they aren't intended as such, the un-ending milestone charts and worries of developmental delays, I need to have this daily reminder. I plan on printing it and posting it to read daily.
This is taken from Life With Jack.
First Corinthians 13 for Moms
If my child speaks in the tounges of men or of angels, masters sign language at six months and Spanish and Mandarin Chinese by six years, but does not learn to love, she is only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If he has the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge- ABCs at a year, reading by two, writing chapter books in Kindergarten- but does not have love, he is nothing. If I volunteer for every mommy ministry- MOPS, AWANA, Sunday School, and if I give all I possess to the poor (or at least bring loads of groceries to the foodbank), but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy other mother's lifestyle choices or possessions, it does not boast in the areas of my children's natural strengths (while covering for their faults), it is not proud of the way my child potty trained before your child. It does not dishonor others by insisting that my method of parenting is the best, it is not self-seeking-hoping that you'll notice how smart, talented or well rounded I am raising my child to be. It is not easily angered by perceived slights or misjudgements, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth that all of parenting is fueled and driven by God's grace. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preseveres.
Love never fails- even where I have fallen painfully short of God's best for my children. But where there are competitions to see whose body bounces back best after childbirth, they will cease; where there are verbal fights over the correct methods of discipline, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge about the best way to feed and clothe and nurture a child, it will pass away. For we know in part and we parent incompletely, but when they are fully grown, what we thought we knew about raising our children will disappear. When I was a new parent, I thought, spoke and reasoned with immaturity and without grace. As my children grew, I asked God to give me the wisdom to put these childish ways behind me. For now we see our children's future as only a reflection as in a mirror; one day we will behold their adult selves face to face. Now I know in part; then we shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,(Q) they will cease; where there are tongues,(R) they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part(S) and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes,(T) what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood(U) behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;(V) then we shall see face to face.(W) Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.(X)
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.(Y) But the greatest of these is love.(Z)
This is taken from Life With Jack.
First Corinthians 13 for Moms
If my child speaks in the tounges of men or of angels, masters sign language at six months and Spanish and Mandarin Chinese by six years, but does not learn to love, she is only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If he has the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge- ABCs at a year, reading by two, writing chapter books in Kindergarten- but does not have love, he is nothing. If I volunteer for every mommy ministry- MOPS, AWANA, Sunday School, and if I give all I possess to the poor (or at least bring loads of groceries to the foodbank), but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy other mother's lifestyle choices or possessions, it does not boast in the areas of my children's natural strengths (while covering for their faults), it is not proud of the way my child potty trained before your child. It does not dishonor others by insisting that my method of parenting is the best, it is not self-seeking-hoping that you'll notice how smart, talented or well rounded I am raising my child to be. It is not easily angered by perceived slights or misjudgements, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth that all of parenting is fueled and driven by God's grace. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preseveres.
Love never fails- even where I have fallen painfully short of God's best for my children. But where there are competitions to see whose body bounces back best after childbirth, they will cease; where there are verbal fights over the correct methods of discipline, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge about the best way to feed and clothe and nurture a child, it will pass away. For we know in part and we parent incompletely, but when they are fully grown, what we thought we knew about raising our children will disappear. When I was a new parent, I thought, spoke and reasoned with immaturity and without grace. As my children grew, I asked God to give me the wisdom to put these childish ways behind me. For now we see our children's future as only a reflection as in a mirror; one day we will behold their adult selves face to face. Now I know in part; then we shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
========================================================================
1 Corinthians 13
New International Version (NIV)
13 If I speak in the tongues[a](A) of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy(B) and can fathom all mysteries(C) and all knowledge,(D) and if I have a faith(E) that can move mountains,(F) but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor(G) and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b](H) but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient,(I) love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.(J) 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,(K) it is not easily angered,(L) it keeps no record of wrongs.(M) 6 Love does not delight in evil(N) but rejoices with the truth.(O) 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.(P)8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,(Q) they will cease; where there are tongues,(R) they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part(S) and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes,(T) what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood(U) behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;(V) then we shall see face to face.(W) Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.(X)
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.(Y) But the greatest of these is love.(Z)
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Raising my Only
As we come to the realization that my body, once again, is not functioning as it should we are faced with being on medical hold in "trying to conceive". And somehow, I am not totally horrified by it as I once was. Yes, it still stings when I hear of how much of a disservice I am doing to my daughter by being an "only child". I'd like to say I have tougher skin than that, but it hurts to have people be so close-minded and judgemental about my family's size (besides, I don't think it will put Samantha at a disadvantage, but that is for another post). Being on hold this time is freeing. I can focus on my daughter, without the added wonder ever month for two weeks, without the anxiety of every pukey-feeling and ovulation twinge, without the horrific sobbing when the test is negative and my period starts. I can BREATHE.
Given that, Doug and I have had some serious discussions about calling it done and that our family is complete with three children in heaven and one here with us. We are both at peace with it, for the most part, and are continuing the discussion as we move along through medical hold.
I feel relief, sadness, joy, peace...all wrapped up into one. I realize that it's all beyond my control. If God has plans for us to have another child we will, but somehow wrapping my brain around Samantha being an "non-lonely only" is helping me enjoy her more.
Today we met some friends at the mall. Samantha and I got there early, so we had the play place to ourselves. I had such a wonderful time watching my daughter explore, climb, slide, laugh and make her happy-monkey face. I found myself thanking God wholeheartedly for my only child- that I could enjoy this special time with just her, and her with just me.
I don't know what tomorrow holds, or next month or next year. But today, this is perfectly enough :)
Given that, Doug and I have had some serious discussions about calling it done and that our family is complete with three children in heaven and one here with us. We are both at peace with it, for the most part, and are continuing the discussion as we move along through medical hold.
I feel relief, sadness, joy, peace...all wrapped up into one. I realize that it's all beyond my control. If God has plans for us to have another child we will, but somehow wrapping my brain around Samantha being an "non-lonely only" is helping me enjoy her more.
Today we met some friends at the mall. Samantha and I got there early, so we had the play place to ourselves. I had such a wonderful time watching my daughter explore, climb, slide, laugh and make her happy-monkey face. I found myself thanking God wholeheartedly for my only child- that I could enjoy this special time with just her, and her with just me.
I don't know what tomorrow holds, or next month or next year. But today, this is perfectly enough :)
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