Currently so many aspects of my life are being spent waiting. Waiting for the end of a work day, waiting for the weekend when I can really enjoy my little family. I really dislike wishing time away, as it makes me feel that I am ungrateful for every moment.
As I look inward (oh boy, introspection) I realize that I do have moments that I am not grateful for. I have moments when I am angry and resentful, or despairing and depressed in what is going on at that point in time. I forget to count my little blessings, and instead focus on what I DON'T have at that moment. Today is one of those times.
As I sit here listening to a never-ending conference call at work, I can hear my daughter upstairs with her nanny. While I do adore the nanny and know that she is taking fabulous care of my daughter, I am resentful that I am stuck here working. Resentful that someone other than me is playing with Samantha. Depressed at the poor choices that have led me to have to still work after Samantha's birth. I am angry and sad all at once.
As an exercise in "thinking" my way out of my funk and depression, I am trying to list out my blessings. I have a beautiful, healthy baby girl. I have a husband that loves me. I have two crazy fur-babies that entertain us with their antics. I have loving friends and family. I have a home that is safe and comfortable.
In the grand scheme of things, this is just a day. It's just a moment in time that will pass. I pray that I remember to be grateful, not angry, and enjoy every moment to the best of my ability.
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