Is this your first child?

This has become the question that I dread the most.  So many well-meaning folks find that this is an acceptable question to ask.  I know the sentiment-  I used to do it too.  I stopped now that I understand just how horribly difficult it is for some people to answer.

Is this my first child?  No.  She's my third.  But she's the first to have made it far enough for most people to recognize her.

My first child was with us only five short weeks.  Had she or he lived, they would be nearly 4 months old.  Learning to roll over, and possibly scootching around the floor, smiling and laughing.

My second child was with us only six short weeks.  Had she or he lived, they would be still considered a newborn.  They would have had so many photos of little fingers and toes, with a joyous Mommy and Daddy in the background.

My third child is now 24 weeks gestation.  She is very active after I drink juice, and loves ice-cream.  She doesn't like anything that presses on her safe little home right now, and will kick at the ultrasound wand when it's pressed against my belly.  She sucks her thumb and does flips, making sure to hit my bladder each time.  She has her days and nights mixed up, and seems to be the most content when I am laying on my right side.

No, this isn't my first child.  I do, however, pray daily that she's the first that I am able to take home.  The first that I am able to change her diaper, the first that I am able to feed.  I pray that she's the first that I will be able to whisper the treasured words "I love you" and feel her skin against mine as her little eyes look up at mine, tearfilled and grateful for this amazing blessing.