When Doug and I got married, I had a blast with the wedding registry. Walking around, zapping anything we wanted with a scanner...it was like shopping with no budget! We didn't anticipate receiving a lot of what we registered for, but it was fun to dream :)
Today I went to Babies R Us with my Mom to finish my registry. WOW. Now that was an experience! Somewhere in section 1 I got overwhelmed. There is so much to choose from and after spending years avoiding the baby sections of stores, here I was trying to decide what I wanted. Needless to say, Mom was a huge help. In the bath aisle, I ran into another girl doing her registry with her mother. Somehow in our conversation we discovered that we are both infertility gals, and actually had the same surgery last June and are both due this coming June. Funny how we all seem to find one another, isn't it? Anyway, we had a great chat and went on about our zapping.
Several hours later (one can of grape juice, two trips to the potty and a sore lower back later) we went to turn in our scanner. I expected to feel excited, relieved...something of that sort. But, I just felt numb. In so many ways, this just doesn't seem real. Is that truly my child that I just picked all of that stuff out for? Will this amazing miracle of a pregnancy really end with us taking home a healthy bouncing baby?
As I looked around at some of the other ladies handing in their scanners, and seeing the looks of happiness and joy radiating from them, I couldn't help but feel a little awed. I wish I had that innocence. I wish that I could naively think that all baby bellies end in take home babies. Yet even through that, I know that because of what we have gone through to get her here, our little Samantha will be loved and treasured beyond measure by so many that understand our family's history. So bring on that zapper ... and I will enjoy every second of planning for this precious baby girl!!!
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